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Chief Jack's Galley

There's a place for people who laugh at nothing...


April 8th, 2008

What's going on here @ 04:34 pm

Current Location: 30062

Mary and I went to the doctor today. Good news is I haven't gained any weight. Bad news is I haven't lost any. I'm leaning toward NutriSystem, which she says is pretty good. It blows, but I'm 312 lbs (70 lbs lighter than I was when I started going to her, but still waaaaay too heavy) and I learned the ill effects of not being able to get health insurance, which I'm about 100 lbs away from getting (it's moot since my doctor doesn't take health insurance anyway, but I need it for the odd occasion that a blood vessel erupts in my brain and I have to go to the hospital).



We discussed the fact that on the half dozen or so times each night I wake up with an urgent need to have a whiz, I find myself regretting the way my life has gone (not Mary, of course) and having a hard time getting back to sleep because I'm thinking about what life would have been like had I dropped out of high school after my sophomore year, like I considered doing. Or if I had stood up to the immutable forces that were telling me (a) that I was going to college and (b) where I was going to college, and gotten a job, or joined the Navy, or done something that I wanted to do. Or if I had done like I was tempted and written my essay for my college on why I shouldn't be considered for admission. Etc. etc. I figured that I was just being a 52 year old man who has had one brush with death.

Her response was to change the time that I take my HCTZ (thinking that it might not kick in until bedtime, even though I take it in the morning), give me a B12 shot, prescribe St. John's Wort to go with the Welbutrin, and tell me that the sooner I can get out of this prison that is my recovering body, the better off I'll be, and that I should forget about what was and concentrate on what is rather than what was or what could have been.

I left her office feeling 1000% better. Did I happen to mention that I love my doctor?



The last few days, I've been listening to Radio Swiss Jazz, which plays a great selection of jazz from a lot of different eras (Swing, Bop, Cool, traditional, etc.). It's wonderful. Only problem is, the announcements are in either German or Italian.......
 
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From:bayarts
Date:April 8th, 2008 09:38 pm (UTC)
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I'm so happy to hear that you have a doctor you're pleased with. It sounds like she really pays attention to what is important, unlike many doctors today, who treat their patients like cattle and can't remember their names from one visit to the next.

I hope you're giving yourself credit for all the strength you've mustered to get as far as you have, John, and to have endured what you have over the last couple of years.

Hats off to you, friend.
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From:john_holton
Date:April 8th, 2008 10:32 pm (UTC)
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She's good. Expensive, and none of the visits are covered by Blue Cross (but then, Blue Cross doesn't cover much, as I've learned), but worth every dime. I don't care that the visits are coming out of pocket. Good care costs money.

And yes, I took inventory and discovered that, compared to a year ago, when I was first out of the hospital, I've regained about 70 percent. I can reasonably expect to regain another 20-25 percent, and I'm willing to live with the 5-10 percent that I won't get back. The point is that I'm alive and have learned to adapt.
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From:azbound
Date:April 8th, 2008 09:39 pm (UTC)
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Interesting that she gave you a B boost. I've just recently added a multi-B into my vitamins (I take this packet I get from Costco that has a multi/Vit. E/Calcium/Vit. C/ginseng/multi-B - quick and easy)and I feel *better*. I refer to it as "Vitamin Bitch" as it keeps the bitch at bay. ;-)

As to weight loss, I love Weight Watchers, as I need structure but not rigidity - but it's most important that you find what works best for you.
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From:john_holton
Date:April 8th, 2008 10:10 pm (UTC)
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B12 in particular is good for your mood and gets you out of the dumps. Mary got a shot as well, so she'd be a nicer person (her words, not mine).

I really need the rigidity at this point. I lost about 30 lbs while I was in the hospital because everything was carefully measured and balanced (and it was hospital food, which, contrary to popular opinion, is really awful). I really have to get my weight down, and the sooner, the better, and the problem isn't so much what I eat, but how much. Neither Mary nor I can judge that very well.
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From:john_holton
Date:April 9th, 2008 01:25 am (UTC)
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She is an excellent doctor. She went into Integrative medicine after the Army, and has studied with Andrew Weil, and really takes it seriously. Even better, she doesn't take herself seriously. I can talk to her like a friend, which is what she is. I'm lucky to have found her.
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From:cadona
Date:April 9th, 2008 12:52 am (UTC)
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Excellent doctoring. Good that she listened and even better to mention about forgetting about the past.

Oh, and I, for one, and very glad you are still with us and doing a good bit better than a year ago.
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From:john_holton
Date:April 9th, 2008 01:29 am (UTC)
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Well, thanks. I'm pretty happy to be around myself.
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From:lourdesmont
Date:April 9th, 2008 12:56 am (UTC)
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After the week we have had, questioning your life is to be expected. Hell, I would be worried if you didn't! I question mine and fret over what was and what will never be and what is to come.

But I am SO VERY DAMN GLAD that you are still here!!! So you take care, okay? Or I am gonna have to drive up there and kick your ass ... not inserting snarky comment about how it wouldn't be hard to find in the second place.

Your ass ... say hello to mine ... (-:

(((HUGS YOU EVER SO TIGHTLY!!!)))
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From:john_holton
Date:April 9th, 2008 01:44 am (UTC)
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The thing is that I've been questioning my life in particular since the stroke. It probably has as much to do with my not being able to use my right hand to write with a pen as anything. In some respects, I took up writing to deal with what might have been. You think Mary Cecelia carries a gun by accident?

And listen...I've had a stroke already, and take my word for it, I don't want to have another. I've thought about it, and I've come to the conclusion that I needed to learn that every day is a unique gift from God, and that I shouldn't take my life for granted, which is what I think I was guilty of. I've learned my lesson.

Chief Jack's Galley

There's a place for people who laugh at nothing...