John Holton (john_holton) wrote,
John Holton
john_holton

Got this from summerlady, who always seems to find these...she found this one here.



My comments in Italics

Human Virus Scanner

The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.
Viruses you suffer from:

Linux
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.

Funny, because later on I'm told that I'm infected by Windows.

Junkfood
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.

No comment. I do love Arby's sandwiches and jamocha shakes, though.

Free BSD
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.

Hey, I didn't say anything about liking it. I simply said that I recognized it.

Religion
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)

I've been meaning to, as a matter of fact.

Windows
Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.

See? What'd I tell you? And I've wanted to work a little in MacOS X, precisely because it is a lot like Unix.

vi
Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.

As I said, I've got a lot of operating system background, including Unix and Linux which use the vi editor. So sue me.

Sci-fi
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.

This made no sense. I can't stand sci-fi.

Politics
Stop caring!

I have, long ago, thanks to a number of friends of mine who care enough about them for me as well. You know who you are....

Brand Names
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.

Yeah, but it doesn't make it bad, either.

Hippyism
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.

Huh? OK, the long hair might be throwing this thing off.

Conspiracy Theory
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.

Tell me about it.

Viruses you might suffer from:

USA (70%)
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]

British (70%)
No need for cure. Benign virus.

Now, go figure these two out.

UNIX (80%)
Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Southampton (70%)
Move to the Isle of Wight.

??????

Computer Games (60%)
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.

I thought that was from...oh, never mind...

Environmentalism (63%)
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Me, an eco-fascist? Surely you jest.

Macintosh (80%)
Use a mouse with more than one button.

Funny, my WinBook has just one button, but you push it down on two different sides. I have a mouse with two buttons and a wheel now, you know...

Prog Rock (60%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.

See, it's that long hair thing again. And no, I don't have a bald spot.

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