Heard a couple of good jokes on the radio today:
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "What'll you have, buddy?" and he says, "I'll have a beer, and let me have one for the road."
The Invisible Man married an invisible woman. Their kids were nothing to look at.
I managed to make a pot of coffee in the room today and not put the pot on the coffee maker so that it could catch the coffee. Hmmm...I am tired...