John Holton (john_holton) wrote,
John Holton
john_holton

I actually quite like these trips through the south to Chicago. I see such interesting things. Such as:

- The newspaper in Paducah, KY that talks about "Dump day" (in my life, EVERY day is dump day) and about an auto race for men of the cloth called the "Faster Pastor Race".

- A story in another newspaper in Clarksville, TN about two bank robbers who were caught at the Pet Palace.

- A pickup truck driving through Nashville with magnetic signs advertising a limousine service. Ladies, can you imagine a guy showing up on your wedding day in a pickup truck, telling you, "Just toss the train in the back"?

- We were driving along and saw a kid's play ball in the median of I-24. Do you suppose that the kid's family pulled over and had a picnic there?

- A convoy of pink Cadillacs with "Mary Kay" written on the side. I've known about Mary Kay giving away pink Caddies for some time now; I used to stay at the Harvey Hotel in Farmers Branch, TX where they would have their meetings. There's something particularly surreal about getting on an elevator with a bunch of women dressed in pink suits wearing enough makeup to supply the Ringling Brothers - Barnum and Bailey Circus (honestly, do they put it on with a trowel?) and wearing enough perfume to cover the odor in any gas station restroom. (I'd like to create a perfume called "Sanitized By Swisher". Think it would sell?) What I never realized was that the model of the Caddies is a DeVille, as in Cruella...oddly appropriate...

Oh, well...more tomorrow...
Tags: humor
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