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Chief Jack's Galley

There's a place for people who laugh at nothing...


April 27th, 2006

(no subject) @ 08:25 pm

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I went to the doctor today. I'm a little heavier than I thought I was; I discovered that I had used her scale incorrectly the last time I weighed myself (seems I pushed the weight past the 300 lb mark). Still, I'm at 321, which, as she said, is a hell of a lot of weight to lose in a short amount of time. She also said that my blood pressure is, at last, coming under control. It was at 137/85, which technically is high, but when you consider I was shooting 200+/100+ before all of this, I'm doing much, much better.

She prescribed a movie this time: What the (bleep) Do We Know? (it's not really (bleep); it's a string of non-alphabetic characters), which evidently addresses the whole issue of mental programming and how we get these ideas in our heads. She said it was a cult classic at one time, but it's come into more general availability.

She also explained the whole matter of meditation, which I haven't been really good about doing. I explained that I was constantly worried that I was going to fall off the wagon, so to speak, and go back to my old eating habits and put all the weight, and more, back on, to the point where I'm now afraid to put anything in my mouth, for fear that I'm going to start back on the road to hell, so to speak. She explained that a lot of people in my position have the same problem. Even people who have undergone gastric bypass surgery are constantly plagued by feelings that they're going to get fat again. The reason behind it is that while their habits have changed, their thinking hasn't, which is why she recommended the movie. She explained that what I needed to learn to do was to replace the negative thoughts (I'm going to fall off the wagon and be fat again and forever) with positive affirmations (I am what I am and what I am is beauty and strength, as an example). She told me to say it. I choked up. She said that was good, that I was getting to the bottom of why I was getting fat.

I know, it's psychobabble. But, somehow, I think it's going to work.

She said that it was very common for sensitive people (believe it or not, that's me!) to put on a lot of weight as a way to cushion ourselves against negative energy coming from whoever or whatever. I had never heard it explained that way before...

Anyway, it was a good visit.

 
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From:lourdesmont
Date:April 28th, 2006 05:31 am (UTC)
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Well ... congrats on the good visit!

I hope everything works out for you! My sister is in the kinda the same position - she needs to lose a whole lot of weight in a short time before they will operate on her. So the whole family is going on diets as a means of emotional support for her.

I know you can do this. I have faith in you!
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From:john_holton
Date:April 28th, 2006 06:05 am (UTC)
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Thank you for your support, now and ever since I've known you.
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From:wingguy
Date:April 28th, 2006 07:40 am (UTC)
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All of us are struggling with something, John. I think you have the strength to win your battle. I wish you the very best.
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From:john_holton
Date:April 28th, 2006 09:20 am (UTC)
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Thanks, buddy. I'm beginning to think I have the strength, too.
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From:cadona
Date:April 28th, 2006 11:26 am (UTC)
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I am not really sure what psychobabble means. I do know that affirmations (what the doc has you doing) work. It is important to say them out loud. When you hear your voice saying something positive about yourself you beleive it. Even if you do not believe what you are saying, making the affirmation over and over, out loud, changes your internal dialog. After all we are what we believe. When you change what you believe you change who you are.

I have been wanting to see this movie for some time. It is more than a cult movie.

Your progress is awesome. Keep up the good work.
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From:john_holton
Date:April 28th, 2006 12:21 pm (UTC)
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"Psychobabble" is a pejorative term used to characterize a lot of the argot that comes out of the "pop psychology" books that came out in the late '80s and early '90s. I suspect that there were a lot of people who could talk the talk, but couldn't walk the walk; as a result, the talk was little more than babbling. Thus, psychobabble. Think Stuart Smalley, from Saturday Night Live, and you get the idea.

I am convinced that affirming myself, aloud, to the mirror if necessary, is an excellent tool in gaining control over my life, in putting aside all of the BS I was taught to think and to believe as a child and a young man. It's crucial in my transformation, if that's what you want to call it.

Chief Jack's Galley

There's a place for people who laugh at nothing...