We discussed the fact that on the half dozen or so times each night I wake up with an urgent need to have a whiz, I find myself regretting the way my life has gone (not Mary, of course) and having a hard time getting back to sleep because I'm thinking about what life would have been like had I dropped out of high school after my sophomore year, like I considered doing. Or if I had stood up to the immutable forces that were telling me (a) that I was going to college and (b) where I was going to college, and gotten a job, or joined the Navy, or done something that I wanted to do. Or if I had done like I was tempted and written my essay for my college on why I shouldn't be considered for admission. Etc. etc. I figured that I was just being a 52 year old man who has had one brush with death.
Her response was to change the time that I take my HCTZ (thinking that it might not kick in until bedtime, even though I take it in the morning), give me a B12 shot, prescribe St. John's Wort to go with the Welbutrin, and tell me that the sooner I can get out of this prison that is my recovering body, the better off I'll be, and that I should forget about what was and concentrate on what is rather than what was or what could have been.
I left her office feeling 1000% better. Did I happen to mention that I love my doctor?
The last few days, I've been listening to Radio Swiss Jazz, which plays a great selection of jazz from a lot of different eras (Swing, Bop, Cool, traditional, etc.). It's wonderful. Only problem is, the announcements are in either German or Italian.......