John Holton (john_holton) wrote,
John Holton

I got your update right here....

I haven't posted much of an update lately (it's been at least a week), so here ya go, warts and all. Adult language not withheld, so I'm putting this behind a cut tag...

The weekend...well, the cats have a habit of pissing into electrical outlets in the kitchen, and managed to trip the breaker. And, every time Mary would go down to the breaker panel and turn the breaker on, the outlet would emit a loud "BANG!!!!", sparks would fly and the breaker would trip again. So, we had to call the electrician and get new outlets installed, and there is now a large appliance in front of each outlet. We also had surge protection installed in the house and bought a separate surge protector for the office (and the computers) that handles both the electrical outlets and the cable line. I love the little bastards, but there are times I wish that there was more hell to pay when they do shit like that. I swear, bladders with fur...

We have shades on the skylights in the living room. The skylights are great when it's 25 degrees outside, but not so great when it's 85 and the sun is beating down, so the shades are great. They are battery operated, so we have a remote that opens and closes them. Problem was, one was working, the other was stuck in the "up" position. So we had the guy who installed them (who must disappear into an alternate universe when he leaves here, because we have the hardest time getting hold of him) come and take a look. He must have been here an hour and took the shade down, and determined that the electrical eye is malfunctioning. Good news is that the part has a lifetime warranty; bad news is that the guy is going to come back whenever he is back in this universe, and God only knows when that's going to be.

My phone rang this afternoon. I didn't recognize the number, but I answered anyway. It's a customer telling me that their data's not loaded, even though I could swear that I've run the job to load it to successful completion twice now, the input looks right, etc. So, I'm running it a third time after formatting the data differently. You might remember a month or so ago that I was bitching about this, the customer that had the data and I had no freaking clue how to load it, and I had to figure it out (and I think I did it right). We'll see what happens now.

I've spent an inordinate amount of time since the stroke beating myself up over the past. Stupid shit I did, lousy decisions I made, not telling my mother to fuck off and let me live my life my way, things like that. And, I've spent just as much time wondering what would have happened if I hadn't done the stupid shit, hadn't made the lousy decisions, told my mother to fuck off and let me live my life my way, etc. I realized the other day that all I'm doing is making myself miserable. And I hate it. I don't like people who do that kind of shit, I think they're absurd individuals that are just looking for stuff to hate themselves or, even worse, are looking to blame their problems on other people. And, I hate to admit it, but I'm one of them.

Well, no more. I've decided that it's time to make peace with the past and let it be the past. Whatever happened then happened, I can't go back and change it, and I'm an idiot for thinking that I can. I'm going to learn to forgive myself for doing stupid shit, let bygones be bygones, and move on with my life. You remember the Permanent Record that the nuns used to threaten you with, the one that they said would keep you from being the president of GM because you flunked a math quiz that you weren't ready for in second grade? I just realized, it's bullshit, and they were assholes for telling you that it wasn't. You know what? Two of the places that I went to school are closed now, and all my old teachers are dead. And anyone who wants to remember me for the stupid shit that I did is wasting their time, and they need to grow the fuck up.

Sorry to fill your eyes with this, but I needed to say it. Thanks for reading it.

A belated Happy Mother's Day to all of you who are mothers (and/or grandmothers, aunts, teachers, etc.) or have mothers and/or grandmothers, aunts, teachers, etc.
Tags: update, vent

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